Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
