Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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