we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
