Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
