my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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