How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
