I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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