It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
