Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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