just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
