Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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