around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
