textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
