Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
