Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
