Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
