dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Randomize
