i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's just like the Real World with babies
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
