I could have mohawked her pubes.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
