Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
