I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
