don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
