Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
