You work out of a Hotel?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
