Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize