i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
