It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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