There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
