Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
