shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
