I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just found puke in my bra..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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