I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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