I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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