you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
