I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
