You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
