Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
