took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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