My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
