since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
