addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
