Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
