Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
