Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
