Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
