Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
