I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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