Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
