well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
