the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
dude i'm inner monologue high
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
