Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Randomize
