so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
