I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he was CRYING into my vagina
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
