one word: firstdatebathroomanal
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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