We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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