yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
